OH GAWD!

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Yes, that merry time of the year, where the sound of the clarion rings so true!

“Sound, sound the clarion, fill the fife!
To all the sensual world proclaim,
One crowded hour of glorious life
Is worth an age without a name.”

Sir Walter Scott

Sir Walter wasn’t talking about the Holiday Season and harboring a cold, when he wrote those words, both of which I have. What is usually a glorious time can be a daunting attempt at surviving with the stress and fuss that can accompany the season while dealing with a cold.

TLW (The Little Woman) was wondering what to get me for Christmas and came up with this clever idea, why not a cold, something that keeps on giving?

Now in all fairness to her, I know she didn’t really plan it that way, but when I feel miserable, I think that way too. After all she did give me the best years of her life and all that went with it, so I can’t complain, and I’m sure I have given her colds too, but not as inconvenient.

I recall when the kids were small in my old house, they were at school age and would bring home either: homework or germs. It seemed that every Christmas season a stomach virus was ever present for someone making me live in fear that I would get it. And many a stomach virus I had at the holiday times, but somehow lived through it all.

One year, before I was married or even knew TLW enough for her to give me a germ, I came down with the flu. It was Christmas Eve and I got rally sick as Mom was kind of disappointed because I liked to liven things up on the holidays and would do or say anything for a laugh. Mom sent me up to my room and told me to stay there, and started to medicate me. What was once a full bottle of Jim Beam became a half empty bottle, as glass by glass she sent it up, and re-filled: as I needed. The funny thing is I never got drunk lying there in the bed, because she was sending food between the glasses and making me eat.

This time of the year is probably the worst in terms of the weather and what it wants to do. Does it want to be winter or fall, or maybe even a little spring? You over dress and get sick, you under dress and get sick, the rooms become too hot or too cold and you get something for your troubles.

Everyone dreams of a White Christmas, then complains about driving in the snow. If you are a driver and go great distances to work, you want the snow on Christmas Eve and wake up to it on the ground with the sun shinning on Christmas Day, but make it clear away for that drive to grandmother’s house or wherever.

Going into crowded offices, stores and banks can be intimidating if you want to stay healthy. The chances of getting a bug are greater and people don’t care about hygiene all that much when it comes to sneezing and coughing, as long as they are protected.

You see someone with a cold and immediately you think: “I'm gone, I’ll get this!” You can take precautions all you want but you can’t prevent catching it in the air somehow, and think, there goes MY Christmas!

So I will stop making you crazy and or paranoid about it all, and tell you that I have your cold. What is that you are thinking? You don’t have a cold! I know, I’m going to give you this one, now come over here and give me a big old holiday kiss!

Playcrafters proudly presents
Every Christmas Story Ever Told 
(And Then Some)
A Comedy by Michael Carleton, 
Jim FitzGerald, and John K. Alvarez

Fridays and Saturdays,
December 7, 8, 14, &15, 2012
Boys & Girls Club of the Bellport Area
471 Atlantic Ave, Bellport, NY 11713

Curtain Time: 8:00pm
Suggested Donation: Adult $18 Seniors/Students $15

For children and adults 10 and above!

Synopsis of the Show:
Instead of performing Charles Dickens' beloved holiday classic for the umpteenth time, three actors decide to perform every Christmas story ever told.