There is a joke about this fellow that came to
America from Italy. He was sponsored by a Pisano and lived with him for a few
days. After the second day, the fellow went to his sponsor and said in Italian,
“While you are away all day, I get hungry, and would like to go to a place to
eat, but I don’t speak English and can’t read the menu! Can you help me?” His
sponsor, a good man was sympathetic and taught him to say: “Apple pie and
coffee. In English”
The fellow, anxious to try out his new phrase went to a
luncheonette and sat at the counter, where the short order cook asked him what
he wanted. “Apple pie and coffee” he proudly said, This went on everyday for
about a week, when he got tired of apple pie and went to his sponsor and said,
can you teach me how to order a sandwich of some kind in English?” The sponsor
understood his problem and taught him Ham and Swiss on rye in English, where
the fellow eagerly went off to the luncheonette and sat at the counter, a smirk
on his face because now he would show the guy behind the counter he was savvy
when it came to foods.
The short order cook asked him what he wanted expecting the
usual when the fellow said: “Ham and Swiss on rye!”
The cook, somewhat surprised asked: “Mayo or mustard?”
The fellow replied: “Apple pie and coffee.”
Then there was this true story that happened in the ‘30s
when there was an influx of Italian immigrants that came to this country. My
grandmother Frances was a sponsor of a few people from her hometown in Naples,
and they came to live with her. One day one of them decided to apply for
citizenship and needed to know how to get to the government courthouse to
apply. This meant going into Manhattan on the subway. Not being able to read
English, my grandmother had an idea. She took this woman to the subway station
and gave her 10 pennies to hold in her hand. The10 pennies were for going and then the
ten pennies again for coming back. Each penny would represent a station. She
was told by grandma to put a penny in her pocket after each stop. When she ran
out of pennies, that would be the stop, go upstairs and you will see the
courthouse. On the way home, the same process should begin, where the last
penny is her home station.
Off goes the lady with ten pennies in her hand, when
suddenly about half way into the ride; she drops the pennies from the
excitement of getting a seat! The pennies scatter all over the car and she
loses some of the pennies. To this day we wonder if she ever got her
citizenship papers, she may still be on the subway!
Then there is this, told to me by my Uncle Joe. This is a
little risqué, and once again our hero is an Italian immigrant. Back in the
day, to enlist in the army, you could go down to Whitehall Street and in a big
building was the army induction center. In 1941 the Japanese had attacked Pearl
Harbor, and Luigi was angry enough to want to join the army and fight for his newly adopted country. He was
told he had to go to Whitehall Street in Manhattan to join. Not really knowing
his way around the big city, he set out from Brooklyn and emerged from the
subway somewhere near his destination. Stopping at a newsstand, he asks the
owner where the induction center was, and the owner says: “See that white
building down the street? That’s it.”
Luigi sets off for the building and after a few hours is
finished and walking by the newsstand once again but looks like a total wreck,
walking very gingerly. The newsstand owner recognizes him and asks: “Hey,
aren’t you the fellow who asked for directions to the induction center?” “A
yeser” replied Luigi. “Well, what the hell happened to you?” Luigi stood there
in agony and then went into his sad story:
“Whella, itza likea dis, I’ma seea the fellow, he say, you
wanna be a soldier huh hokay, turnarounda and a droppa you panza anda benda
hover and a cough, I ado what he saya, but I think he say a bend hovera and
take off!”
1 comment:
Love the ten pennies story.
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