THE MOMENT OF TRUTH!

Dr. Whaite A. Whyle

A young and gorgeous nurse who had the air of an angel and the tongue of the Devil led me to the testing room! “Dr.Whyle will be with you in a minute.”

This little piggy went to market

After a half hour of waiting, fidgeting and thinking what the receptionist was trying to tell me about the test, Dr. Whaite A. Whyle arrives.

“Take your shoes and socks off and lay face down on the table” was his instructions, as he leaves and comes back about five minutes later with what looks like a travel case on wheels and a long handle to pull it, the type people use to go through the airports with. I watch as he pops it open and all sorts of junk appear. This is his E.M.G. testing kit, which is like an E.E.G. without the brains.

this little piggy got juiced!

Putting solution on the feet and legs he begins the test warning me that I will have a sensation from the electric prod, like a cattle prod. Gee, I can’t wait. The test begins after he sets up his laptop and prod, sticking it into the key areas. The test will determine if the right and left leg are the same in terms of length of leg and the length of the nerve that goes from the brain to the end of the foot.

And the fun begins for him. Shooting electronic impulses into a spot 5 or 6 times at a clip, is very discomforting. There is shock and small pain. Sticking the prod into sensitive areas like under the ankle bone and pressing down hard, then shooting the damned thing 6 times can hurt, I go through this on both feet about 10 minutes each. Finally he is down.

A Doctor vacation kit.

“Now, I want you to roll over on your back so we can do the back of your legs and feet.” There we go again with the “We”, he applies the pain and I receive the pain!

YOU figure it out!

“OKaaaaay, we are almost done, just one more thing. Stay where you are.”  Out comes a bunch of little needles, all pointed in my direction. (Where else?) This is what I was expecting, the needles. Suddenly we find ourselves in the midst of getting pricked, me the prickee and he the pricker.

OOOWWWW!!!!

“OKaaaay, you are done!  (No “We” when there is no pain administered.) He reads all the data from the test and announces that it looks like ‘sciatica’. Its been feeling like Attica during the riots! “We will continue with the epidural shots and see where that takes us. If they don’t work, surgery.”

And so the great mystery is solved, the pain is identified, and am I gonna get it! Those shots hurt!