Sunday, January 26, 2014

THE COOKIE MONSTER WATCHES!!!


The other day I went to my mom’s house to supervise the installation of a new cesspool. I also had the clean team coming so I was spending the day there it seemed. As the time wore on, I got a little hungry and went looking for something to eat.

At first I was a little hesitant and felt maybe I shouldn’t be doing that, then thought about it and decided that it was mom’s house, my mother, and this house is where I married from, why not?

I looked in the frig and nothing got my attention except for some olives, but no, that wasn’t what I wanted. Then it hit me, cookies, yes cookies would do it! So I started looking in closets, opening drawers and standing tiptoe to see, and something was happening. I was getting these strange vibes like someone was looking at me, watching me, and ready to bear down on me.

I was suffering from the old malady of mine, stealing cookies from mom’s cupboard! I was also feeling guilty, and maybe feeling I was ready to be discovered once more, just like the old days! What if I found a unopened box? How would I handle that? I could use the trick I once used where I carefully slit the glue away without tearing anything and gluing the box back intact. But what if I really liked the cookies, would I eat too many and mom would be wise? Suddenly I could picture the wooden spoon coming down on my head, leaving the echoing sound I hate when wood hits wood, and my retreating to the old bedroom, that is no longer a bed room, but her den.

But hey, what should I be afraid of, she is almost 96 years old, what could she really do to me? Then there is the question of guilt, whole, unadulterated guilt: the kind mom lays on me when she was too tired to chase me.

I guess I’m too tired myself to do this anymore, she won! I didn’t find any cookies and I didn’t want to anymore. So I went to mom and confessed, and she said: “Don’t be silly, if I have any cookies, have them!”

Dam, I hate this aging process, I’m never sure anymore!

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