Tuesday, January 07, 2014

THEY DON’T MAKE ‘EM LIKE THEY USED TO!

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Looking out my den window, I see the snowflakes coming down and I realize that they are really not flakes but specks. When I was a kid, they had real snowflakes, big enough to recognize a pattern. I don’t know for sure, but is it possible that the snowflakes in Brooklyn really are bigger? Or was I smaller so the flecks became flakes?

It’s funny how so much has changed through the years, attitudes to TV’s all made slow then overnight transformations. Once TLW (The Little Woman) gave me a list of all her sizes for me to shop for her on her birthday or Christmas or gifts, and now I need a whole new list. I mean everything on that list is now a smaller size!

Cars are computerized so much you need to reboot rather than start them. TV camera’s now help you see who you are running over as you back the car up, the signal indicator on your side view mirror helps you know that you made that turn long ago, and yes you should probably keep it on in case you make another turn, freeing on hand for the radio or, pardon me, Bluetooth. If you have more than one is it Blueteeth? Should you say I have Bluetooth or Blueteeth?

We used to have vacuums that plugged into the wall for their source of power, now they are the walls.

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And remember the TV itself? Maybe 9 channels, and tubes for all kinds of reasons, picture, sound, volume, tubes to make the other tubes look good. TV was a piece of the living room furniture, had to be placed strategically to be seen as it cast it’s black and white presence, that often tumbled up and down and side to side zigzagged left to right, or if you preferred right to left. It had a set time of hours and started with and ended with the Star-Spangled Banner. But TV was good for you then, because you had to climb onto your roof every now and then to adjust the antennae so you could watch it. Dad would go on the roof, start to twist the metal tree and we would holler up to him on the third floor roof, “A little more! Noooo, too much, back a little, a little more, More, more morrrrrrre, no the other way, no I’m not fooling around, ask Tessie, that’s it!

If you are old like me, you remember the push mower. A twisted bladed human propelled grass cutter body sweater that took forever to cut the grass and built tone in the arms. And it worked if you sharpened the blades every few weeks, or you were just struggling over grass that just popped right up again. You looked at it and said to yourself: “I thought I just cut the lawn, it needs it again!”

Then some genius came along and said: “Here try this” and you did, a motorized lawnmower that left the taste of gasoline in your nose and mouth, a sore hand and arm from trying to start it and a deep need to sob. This machine could cut grass too and did so. But come the next spring, out you went to overhaul the whole thing.


Remember the ‘I Love Lucy’ show? They had little Rickey.  How? They slept in separate beds! Someone wasn’t in bed all night! Now that is all changed, today she would be sleeping on top of him under silk sheets.

But back in those days, the snowflakes were larger.

Like to wish my Brother-In-Law Dennis Manning a very Happy Birthday today. Today Dennis is over the age of consent. In fact he is so old, he is over everything.


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