DelBloggolo: MISCONCEPTIONS

Wednesday, January 07, 2015

MISCONCEPTIONS

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten million bucks.

This bookkeeper is deaf.

It was considered an occupational benefit, and why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything he'd ever have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million dollars is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back:

"I don't know what you are talking about.

"The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

More often than not there were misconceptions about Italians during the 30’s, 40’s and even the 50’s, that they were all gangsters, and we are talking just about the grandmothers. People thought that all Italians had at least connections to ‘The Mob’ and like the Gestapo would come for you in the dead of night. This of course was untrue and I am here to set the record straight.

Al Capone

In my family we had cousins like Bruno, Rocco and cousin Uhoh. Bruno was a respectable businessman running a legitimate business, and although no one knew what it was, his looks suggested you better believe him. Cousin Rocco aspired for the priesthood, but somehow we could never get the hood out of him. Again, never saw a trace of anything untoward going on, but I must say he was always surrounded by a bunch of ladies who wore cheap perfumes and came and went a lot. My guess is they were training for the sisterhood.

If there was any trouble with anyone it was Uhoh. A conversation, usually one-sided went like this between Rocco and Uhoh: “Uhoh, get your knee off the nice man’s throat, he’s all caught up.”

Of course none of this is true, but that was a misconception to some degree. It became so bad for some Italian Americans that they started to deny their heritage, refusing to learn their grandparent and parent’s tongue. The Italian speaking in some cases was discouraged in the home so that their children would assimilate into the mainstream as soon as possible. The children did well in school for the most part, because they too were eager to assimilate into the mainstream.

'Lucky' Luciano

But a funny thing happened on the way to the forum, the children’s children wanted to learn Italian, pickup where their grandparents left off and encouraged their children to learn their heritage as best they could.

As a result, after years of Americans looking down on Italian immigrants, and the assimilation process, much of America is adopting words, foods and even customs of the Italian Americans, which make it great, it becomes one less culture in this country to discriminate against.