Every year at this time, I try to remember him. It is not
too hard, there are plenty of reminders all around me, most of them are
pleasant, but today. Today is the hard day, today is the day of sadness.
We all have sad days I guess, but this day in particular I
wouldn’t wish on anyone, friend and foe alike.
It was a Wednesday evening. We had spent a long week at the
North Shore University Hospital sleeping overnight on uncomfortable couches and
lounge chairs as we sat vigil for my 20 month old son who was slowly dying.
I can think of younger
days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do
I could never see tomorrow,
But I was never told about the sorrow
Was everything a man could want to do
I could never see tomorrow,
But I was never told about the sorrow
We had reached a point where both my wife and I were bone
tired and needed a break and so decided to go home for a short rest, shower and
then go to the hospital again, out in Manhasset, about 35 miles away from home.
Earlier that evening a call came from the hospital while my wife was in the
shower and I lay on the couch, getting sharp back pains. The party on the other
end said we should come right down, since the baby was about to pass.
We called TLW (The Little Woman)’s brother Dennis who was visiting
in town to give us a lift to the hospital since we knew what was in store for
us.
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again
AS we climbed the steps to the pediatric ICU ward, a priest
was racing up the stairs ahead of us, it meant only one thing to me. As we
entered the ward, I could look down the long hallway and see my son’e room. I
also saw the nurse who so lovingly took care of him, in tears and she covered
him in a blanket. When we got there all the IV and tubes were gone. He lay
there peacefully, his arms placed over the covers as if he was asleep.
I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow,
No one said a word about the sorrow
Sorrow comes in many forms, I see it in the form of the
living as well as the dying, and I see it in the finality of death. You can
only guess what it feels like when your child dies, something is tearing you
apart and the tears that once wept from sweet joy turn to the sour bitterness
of the reality of death.
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
And how can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again
La la la la la la, la la la la
La la la la la la, la la la la
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again
Da da da da
Da da da da, da da da da da, da
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