A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love
to be eight again." she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose
early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the
local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death
Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, every thing
there was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a
McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries
and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to the movies: the latest
Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, and her
favorite M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with
her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife
with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well, Dear, what was it like being eight
again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
"I meant my dress size!!!!!!!
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong!.
There are two things among many that a married man never
wants to hear. One is: Do you know what today is? And two; do you notice
anything different about me?” These two questions are guaranteed to send a
man’s spirits spiraling down quicker than J. P. Morgan’s spirits during the
great 1929 crash of the stock market.
As you sit there naked as a jaybird, perched on the tree
limb, you inch further out on that limb and try to answer the question. An
authority figure would if present to witness your response immediately remove
your shoelaces and belt. You stare first in frozen fear and then slowly try to
figure out what is different.
Last Friday went like this, while the snow was falling and
there was no real way to escape.
Her: “Do you notice anything different about me?”
Me: “You’re talking less?”
Her: “HAHA nooo!”
Me: “You got shorter?”
Her: “No, Pat at the Wanna-Be-Bank & Truss Company said
you would notice.”
This of course puts more pressure to bear on as now I had to
uphold my reputation it seemed, one that she felt I deserved.
I scanned some more, her shoes matched, her lipstick color
on her top lip was the same as the color on her bottom lip, so that couldn’t be
it.
Me: “You have more hi-lites in your hair?”
Her: “Noooo”
I was ready to prostrate myself and plead forgiveness or
worse, open up my wallet and say: “Here, take what you want but don’t yell at
me!”
It had to be something so subtle that she would hardly
notice it herself, and it was!
Her: “Today, while in the ladies room I pushed my hair
behind my ears. Matilda stopped me on my way out and said: “I love what you did
to your hair TLW!” Then Pat caught up with me and said: “I LOVE IT!” “I decided
to tell Pat that I didn’t like it this way, it seemed kind of messy and uncombed.
Pat said: No, I LOVE IT, I bet Jow will notice it!”
Me: “WOW! HOW THE HELL COULD I POSSIBLY NOTICE SOMETHING
LIKE THAT?
She immediately put her hair back the old way and suddenly
she didn’t look as bright and cheerful!
Me: “Oh yeah, now I see it!
LOOKING FOR GREAT GIFT IDEAS FOR YOUR CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN?
Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal
Mountain, TN 37377
Phone:(423) 886-6943
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm
DO YOU WATCH THE BIG
BANG THEORY?
You should, it makes you more observant!
No comments:
Post a Comment