Wednesday, April 15, 2015

COMPLAINING IS MY GAME


A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him.
"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?"
Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."
He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.
"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"
The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, "Not anymore! He is!"

“EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT THE WEATHER, BUT NO ONE DOES ANYTHING ABOUT IT.”

Being how I’m an easygoing guy, don’t get excited or upset often, there are things that do disturb my Karma! I know you find this hard to believe if you are a regular reader, but it is true, I am, after all, only human.

It usually starts first thing in the morning, when I come downstairs for my morning coffee, and watch the morning news, on CBS. Now I like CBS, it is like family, and like family, there is always some phony that irritates us, such a phony is John Elliott, who thinks the program revolves around him. His exaggerated head and body movements make me cringe, almost wanting to turn to NBC or even ABC God forbid!

After listening to the news for 10 minutes, the weather comes on again, Elliott does his little movement show thinking he is funny, cute and the answer to boredom, and I turn it off, and the silence becomes golden, and like they say: “If you stop banging your head against the wall it will feel better!” So with one quick snap of the remote I eliminate two irritants: John Elliott and the repetition of the weather. It's all in the wrist!

Driving is my next beef, it seems there are drivers that really don’t pay attention when they drive, are oblivious of traffic and think that the roads are for their use only. Take the person who stops four car lengths behind the car in front of them waiting at a red light, takes forever to move when the light changes and you are left behind as the light changes back to red.


Of course you can be driving down a road with a 35 mph speed limit when someone from a side road waits for you to be on top of him/her when pulling out! This is how I remember all those swear words in Italian my dear old dad taught me.

But let’s not quibble over the roads, let’s take inside: into a supermarket checkout that is. You get on the line to pay for say a head of lettuce, so you choose the 12 items or less line, you know, the one where there is a lady ahead of you with 50 items and won’t dare look at you when you fume at her for being there!

Are parking lots your thing? You are parked between two SUVs and backing out. As you back out of your space, you look in your mirror and someone is walking behind your car! They know you are backing out but will risk getting run over anyway!

Well, I got this off my chest, so I’m good, that is until I go to the bank and get on line after driving to the supermarket to pick up a few things.

P.S. IT'S APRIL 15th. Do you know where your money is going? Did you give the governments your money today for them to waste?

 


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