One
day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of
the walk.
Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blond standing next to him smiling.
"What do you have in your pocket” she asked.
"Tennis ball?" the man said smiling back.
"Wow," said the blond looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable!"
Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blond standing next to him smiling.
"What do you have in your pocket” she asked.
"Tennis ball?" the man said smiling back.
"Wow," said the blond looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable!"
OK, enough of bad jokes this morning, I have a real joke to
tell you.
The other day as I was working out, I wandered over to the
treadmill and got on. Now I don’t like to get next to someone who is on the
treadmill when I get on, and so look for isolated treadmills. This way no one
can compare how slow I am, and the fact that I walk and not run. You see these
young people get on and they run from Monday thru Thursday, go home for a snack
and get back on from Thursday thru Sunday for brunch and church.
Me, I just like to do what is best for my body, not that it
will help.
Well as I was cruising along at 3.2 and wondering if jumping
off a cliff would be an easier way to end it all, when this young person, a
young lady to be exact hops onto the treadmill next to me. I think, why here,
with all the equipment we have at Retro Torture she could find another
treadmill.
So I put my head down and continue to walk self-consciously,
suddenly I don’t see her anymore, and where is she? SHE’S AT THE END OF HER
TREADMILL, WALKING BACKWARDS! WHO walks backwards on a treadmill??? I mean you
are not going anywhere to begin with but looking at a blank wall going
backwards reminds you that you are not going anywhere! If she was on the last
car of a train looking out the back door, I could understand her, seeing where
she has been, kind of viewing live history in a way but the wall is blank: the
TV sets are in the other direction!
OK, this is not as bad as it gets, now she returns to a
walking position and does so for a short while, 
when suddenly, she is going
sideways, waving her arms as she does, facing away from me. I think WOW! this
is better because she at least has a better view! Back to the forward way when
suddenly, she hops sideways again, facing me! “Oh no, here we go again!” I
think. I am really feeling self-conscious and want to just end it right there. It
occurs to me that what I need now is a tux with a top hat and a whip to host
this event.
when suddenly, she is going
sideways, waving her arms as she does, facing away from me. I think WOW! this
is better because she at least has a better view! Back to the forward way when
suddenly, she hops sideways again, facing me! “Oh no, here we go again!” I
think. I am really feeling self-conscious and want to just end it right there. It
occurs to me that what I need now is a tux with a top hat and a whip to host
this event.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, Ms. Musclelegs will now attempt a
double rotation while somersaulting high into the air landing on the treadmill
and running upside down! Please don’t try this at home!”
I guess I’m not made for workout competition with anyone
else but me. I walked away and went home, hey, I got my 20 minutes of walking
in anyway!
LOOKING FOR GREAT GIFT IDEAS FOR YOUR CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN?
Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal
Mountain, TN 37377
Phone:(423) 886-6943
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm
DO YOU WATCH THE BIG
BANG THEORY?
You should, but its a tough act to follow!
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