FEELING MY AGE

I often wondered what old age feels like, how a person can when he/she gets old doesn't fight the deterioration of the joints and muscles that give way. I often thought that as I would age, that I would have the mindset to stay youthful, if not in appearance than in attitude and movement.

Unfortunately, that cannot be the case!

Recently it was driven home to me that I can't live or won't live forever. After my operation for my carotid artery, I decided to do some manual work around my pool, a simple thing of clearing off water on the cover and readjusting the cover before a major snow storm hit.

As I worked around the area, pulling large branches from a windy day we had, removing falling leaves and pulling the tarp that protects the stretch cover I suddenly felt like I was going to keel over, there was a sharp pain in my back and my left arm felt funny while there was a pressure in my chest that really slowed me down. I stopped what I was doing and went inside to rest and settle down. After a while, I went out again to finish the job, which I did. But the crappiness of the feeling lingered a little more and left me void of any energy or will to do anything. I wanted to go to bed at 4:30 in the afternoon!

What has happened is I'm getting older, and can't seem to get it into the concept that I am of a certain age. It is making me feel down.
When the snow hit, I was told by TLW (The Little Woman) that I wasn't going to dig us out, we would have to hire someone else to do that job. THAT is the only good thing that has come from all this. The fact that I need to go back to the surgeon next week to start the process for the other side of my neck, leaves me a little disheartened.

Since the events I described, I feel very tired and depressed, saddened that things have changed and I wonder how much longer this will go on? I don't seem to have any energy and all I want to do is sit in my chair!