Recently one such catastrophe occurred while she was home in her ICF in Shoreham. Somehow or another she fell, causing her to fracture her hip and need a partial hip replacement. With the replacement of her hip come to the pain and the rehabilitation it will take. The specter of having to see her in any pain is too much for her mom or me to bear. This fact alone about mom is hard for me to digest since it is her pain that I feel too.
When they close the lights in the operating room and wheel her out, her stay at the hospital is brief in comparison to what she will then need to endure of the rigors of rehabilitating her hip, and so a rehab center is of paramount importance.
When events such as your child fracturing a hip suddenly shroud over you as a parent, it leaves you feeling alone and helpless, and you tend to cede to some degree any hope as despair takes over.
But I learned that none of that is true this time. Since I enrolled my daughter Ellen into the Partners Health Plan, it comes with certain benefits no other HMO offers, it follows through on a human level and comforts your outlook.
But what is PHP? It is an insurance plan that is designed for people like Ellen. It is not an HMO in the ordinary sense, but a part of an individual's successful life plan since it caters to IDD. It has a human side to it that no other HMO does. It fits the hopes and dreams I have for my daughter long after I am gone. Let me tell you a little story that happened to me.
As I stood one day in despair at Mather Memorial Hospital, the walls seemed to be closing in on me as I watched my child in pain. The grey day seemed all but totally void of life. It was going to be a long haul of healing and rehabbing a child of mine who knows nothing of patience or calm, just the reality that she is in pain and someone is holding her down in a hospital bed. The prospects of rehabbing looked even bleaker as I pondered where she would be sent.
Suddenly a sweet voice came out of nowhere and introduced herself as Lynn Rudder, Care Manager of Suffolk Chapter assigned to Ellen. She asked me questions about Ellen and noted my responses. She explained to me that she was working to find a suitable rehab center that would work with PHP to place Ellen for the long road ahead and would assist me in this long, hard, journey. She and Pat Turner of PHP would do whatever it would take to help Ellen. There was a visit from Ellen’s House manager at AHRC Betsy Gibson and her case manager Eileen Pullmacher, punching holes in the darkness of despair, in visits and advocacy. This is what I wanted and my daughter needed, people who showed professionalism, and care for someone when I am gone.
Looming ahead was a trip that my wife Ellen and I needed to desperately take to assist my son who lives in California with his two small children who had just lost their mother while birthing my beautiful grandson. Daddy had a 4-year old and a three-month-old with no wife to help him, and a monumental amount of grief he needed to shield his children from. Both Lynn and Pat Turner assured me not to worry, that they would be there for my daughter in a great time of need. That meant they would be there for my son and my grandchildren and my wife and I and most importantly, my daughter Ellen, all in a time of this great need and crisis to get Ellen settled.
There is no measure of gratefulness I can explain or illustrate aside from these few insufficient words expressed here. The worry that was lifted from all of my family is immeasurable and truly valued.
On Lynn Ruder’s PHP business card is her email address that reads: Lruder@phpcares.org.
They really do!
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