It was 21 years ago yesterday: I was fast asleep when TLW
(The Little Woman) woke me to tell me someone was at the front door. Going down
stairs I see my brother-in-law John at the front door. Just then the phone rang
and it was my sister Tessie saying: “Come quick, Daddy is gone!”
When I got to my parent’s house, I found Dad lying in the
hallway where he fell dead, from a heart attack. He was suffering from lung
cancer, after years of smoking. He wasn’t expected to live beyond the week and
this was a Wednesday morning. I went in and embraced everyone and said goodbye
to Dad and then they took his body away, the coroner, and that would be the
last time I saw him in his home. I kissed his forehead and tears welled up in
my eyes.
It is strange when someone passes in a private setting,
there is a sense of relief that the body is taken away from view, yet you hold
on to everything else. I was told they held the body for me to arrive before
moving Dad to the funeral parlor in the Hurst that was suddenly parked in the
front of the house.
Dealing with the shock, even though you expected it to
happen, leaves you comparing what you thought it would be like and the
unexpected event that did occur. The time and place does not fit your scenario.
You go back to what you thought it would be like because you can better relate
to yourself than you can with the reality. And after 21 years, you start to mix
up the way it happened with what you figured would happen.
I remember that next day after the burial was Father’s Day,
the most hollow and empty day of my life. It seemed to mock the whole family,
Dad was not here, where is he, and doesn’t he realize it is Father’s Day! It
seemed to me like someone had taken a chunk of the day, and carved it out, leaving:
me nothingness between where my Mom sat and the family member who sat next to
her.
So 21 years later, it still is a bad day.
3 comments:
Grandpa was such a great guy. I remember when I was around ten years old, he used to encourage me to "write stories" about the Mets and Jets and other sporting events. His encouragement -- along with your support and encouragement -- is one of the big reasons I am a writer today. When he was dying, I used to drive over to the house after school and sit with him. I'm so glad I had the opportunity to do that. It's hard to believe it's been 21 years. It's very sad, but I'm very happy to have his name.
-#1 Son
No matter the circumstances, we can never be prepared for the death of a parent. We can honor them by living lives they would be proud of, and I'm sure your Dad would be pleased at how you have upheld the family name.
I loved him so much and miss him everyday. He was a very special grandfather.
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