AN OPEN LETTER TO MY SONS

Dear Sons,

For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.-John Greenleaf Whittier:

If you don’t raise your voice, you will not be heard, if you don’t step forward, you will not be seen, if you live in fear, it will become your home, if you do not do, you will die.

There will be many that have more money than you, more education, more power, but if you have more determination, more drive, more of a higher standard, than you live in comfort. Comfort of knowing people will respect you, the world will always have a place for you, and that the person you choose and chooses you will have equal values as those you subscribe to.

But the key thing I learned is that passion is the most important ingredient when you put your head down on the pillow at the end of your day. Passion for your work, for your dreams and for those you love. Passion is the road map to success, without it you will stop along the way and forget to move on. God gives it to us, passion is a tool.

So why do I write this now? June is a month of finalities and new beginnings. We leave our sheltered world of certainty and look for the future, ending a way of life we love but can’t wait to change. It is the month that many start a new life, like your mom and I, setting on the path of an uncertain future more than 40 years ago. Little did we know what would lie ahead of us, except for: hope. As we look back and see what has transpired, not all of it was good, not all of it was bad, but WE did it together, not for ourselves, but for each other, and later for you guys and your sister. We wonder: would I be here today if I knew what was going to happen? I know I would, I know that life is but birth and death, and that in 100 years no one will remember nor care.

You are both on a road of a new beginning, one in marriage and a career, and one finishing up hopefully an education of great promise. You both have wealth: that is, each other, you should never feel alone. Know that we will always be there, but you have to learn to be there for yourselves.

Family is an important word. It works like egg in a meatloaf, a binder, it brings together. Family is the reminder of where you came from, who you really are. No matter what you do with your lives, no matter what you amass in money, you are still our child, still the person we raised.

When it is all said and done, there is a little stone or urn that will contain your memory. It represents only those that wish to remember you, not you physically. Those that do remember you will remember not what you made in life, but what you made of your life. Was there compassion, was there love, what about forgiveness and truth? WILL THE WORLD BE BETTER BECAUSE YOU WERE IN IT?

This is a great country. From these shores come the bravest, most innovative, and most compassionate, try to include yourself in those numbers.

Many times in my life I wondered if I was good enough for the task at hand, as a student, artist, father and husband. We are all born with self-doubt, but I always felt that I had to find out. Rather than wonder, I went out and tried, it removed the doubt, and because of that, it swept aside the regret. Always remember that you are anything you wish to be, and no better or worse that any one else on this Earth. It doesn’t matter how old you may be when you start a new endeavor, age doesn’t matter, only passion.

So don’t rush your day, savor it, share each moment even with yourself. Don’t be afraid to try something new, and don’t be afraid to love, it is the greatest medicine, along with laughter to heal the body, the mind, the soul and heart, combined it is really your spirit.

So love each other and yourself.

Love,

Dad