BEING CHEAP IS HARD TO DO

The other morning was gorgeous, so I decided to fight my cheapness and use my water sprinklers that are attached to hoses and water my lawn. I could get my sprinkler system repaired, but hey, I don’t want to.

Now the hose I use is the same hose that I use on my pump to: pump out water off the top of my tarpaulin that covers the pool in the winter. As the fall leaves come down, I take them out as best I can, but new leaves manage to get back in and as the rain and snow fall start to decay, so by spring I have accumulated a mass of mess.

Then the mallards arrive and settle in the water pond that has developed and do their thing in and on the cover, leaving gluck. Gluck is a heavy sooty composition on the bottom. Out comes the pump and we pump. As the water level goes down the pump needs to be constantly cleaned and cleared out so the water will flow freely.

So I disconnect the hose from the pump and attach it to my sprinkler. I turn on the water and watch the sprinkler do it’s magic. Some magic, nothing is coming out of the sprinkler!

The reason for the sprinkler not working is very simple; it is designed to frustrate and aggravate me to the point of anger, swearing and extreme irritation. I call it irritation without irrigation.

Stupid me goes over to the connection of the hose to the sprinkler and I pick it up to see why it is not working. (I don’t turn off the water!) I slightly turn the connection and suddenly the whole thing explodes in my face, dirty filthy brown water from the pool had lodged into the hose and was now being blown out! That is, blown out on my face, glasses, hair, fresh shirt and pants and shoes! I think, if TLW (The Little Woman) saw this happen, first she would have to get up off the ground from laughing at me, second go find a divorce lawyer so she wouldn’t have to be married to stupid anymore.

Maybe I’ll repair the in-ground sprinkler system after all.