Entering the new dental office, Concerned Dental Care (no
one was more concerned than me!) I announce myself to the receptionist. It is
at this point I try to make nice, build a rapport and create good will for
myself. If you piss her off, she will put notes in your file, somewhat like an
unhappy waiter spitting into your food! Breaking her in is difficult. One thing
I look for is children or grandchildren’s pictures.
Me: “Is that your sister?” (Her child) or the more useful “Are
those your children?” (Her grandchildren) followed by disbelief that they are
her grandchildren.
Once we make nice she will usually ruin the feeling of nice-nice
by handing me a clipboard with two hands and ask me to fill out a few forms. The
reason she uses two hands is because the damned thing is too heavy to hold with
one!
Filling out forms are designed to have you think, frustrate and
leave you feeling dumb, when they are medical. They ask you the same questions
over and over again, until redundancy is a matter of course, they ask you
questions like you PCP’s name, address and phone and fax number, along with his
wife’s middle name and his plans for the future. But they don’t stop there, no,
they even ask questions like: Insurance provider’s name, phone number and
address. You must provide a list of all medications you take, all doses and
color of the pills. However, the best ones they saved for the end. How much
money do you think you will spend to protect that great smile of yours? 1. Enough
to last a lifetime in poverty, 2. Enough to have a place to live, even if it is
under a bridge on Exit 61 of the LIE?, or 3. A toothless wonder: who gargles
everyday for old times sake and can afford life to some degree?
The final question was the best: What would you do to
improve that million-dollar smile? A. Change my mirror.
After filling out the forms the next day, I returned to my
usually thoughts of suicide while waiting in a medical facility after forms and
waited for the call.
TOMORROW: The Call Comes From Junior.
Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal
Mountain, TN 37377
Phone:(423) 886-6943
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm
DO YOU WATCH THE BIG
BANG THEORY?
You should!
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