DOCTOR TOBIAS, I PRESUME?

Today is Labor Day, and it reminds me of an incident that occurred many years ago on this very holiday weekend. I was visiting my sister for the holiday, and after dinner we were sitting outside on her patio with her next-door neighbors Lenny and Maria. Maria and Lenny are the parents of 4 boys who now are all grown up and married. But being boys they were rambunctious and alive with activity, and as you can imagine made for a handful for any parent., All four boys are good boys and were when they were growing up. Summer vacation for the parents was hectic, loud and probably very busy.

As we were sitting, Maria was getting happier by the moment, as she anticipated the beginning of a new school year in a few days. “I’m so happy I can’t wait for school to start” were her exact words as I recall. I left that evening thinking: “SHE is much too happy about school starting.” I decided to do something about it, and devised a plan for the next day. It was late Tuesday afternoon or early evening and I called Maria. The conversation went like this:

Phone rings –

Maria: “HELLO”

Me: “Hello, Mrs. Zafonte?”

Maria: “Yes?”

Me: “My name is Dr. Tobias, I’m the assistant school district supervisor and my office is calling all the parents of children in our district to advise them that due to a strike by the school nurse’s labor union, there will be no school for an indefinite period of time. By law the school district cannot operate without a full time nurse on the premises of each school building. We will notify you upon any change as to when school will begin once the strike is over.”

Maria: “Oh God, my life is ruined. Thank you for calling.”

I hung up laughing over her reaction. The Little Woman informs me that I better get a hold of Maria and tell her the truth, or the whole neighborhood will be in an uproar and the kids very happy, not to mention what she would do to me when she got a hold of my neck. I decided once again the Little Woman was right and got #2 son, then very young to come with me as a human shield. I drive over to her house with #2 son in front of me and knock on her back door. On her steps are three or four very happy kids planning their extended summer vacation. There stands Maria behind her ironing board ironing when I walk in looking like she needs a drink. I ask her: “Did you get a call from Dr. Tobias?” I tell her the truth.

There was no anger in her voice or in her face, but a big sigh of relief and she blurts out: “Oh thank God!”