Monday, January 25, 2010

HOLD THE BACK PAGE!

As I contemplated my next move, whether to leave the channel where it was, or change it (I wrestle a lot with that decision) the phone came alive. Caller ID said it was TLW (The Little Woman) calling.

Reaching for the phone, I gave it my ‘Helloooow” for sexy babes that I like to employ.

“Joe?”
“Yes Dear?”
“You can call for the pizza now, but have it delivered. I’m running late because we had a lot of excitement at the Wanna-Be Bank and Truss Company, so I don’t want to have to wait at the pizza place to pick it up.”
“Yes Dear.”

I figured, a bank robbery, with TLW single-handedly talking the robbers to death, thus saving the day and receiving a huge monetary reward. One so big I could call an architect in Hawaii to pick out a nice lot for a three-story home on the beach!

Arriving home, TLW was all excited, brimming with eagerness to tell me what had transpired at her place of employment. I happened to be in the midst of an ‘All In The Family’ show, and was really amused, so she was kind enough to hold off for the last five minutes of the program.

Finally the show ended, and she stiffened her back, on the edge of her seat, and related to me her ‘adventure’. It seems there was a Mr. Dumb Ass that has been forging postal money orders to the tune of $12,000 and was trying to do it again at the drive-in teller at the Wanna-Be Bank and Truss Company! The teller was wise enough to see something was amiss, and stalled Mr. Dumb Ass then convinced him after a while to enter the bank. While being stalled, the good folks at the Wanna-Be Bank and Truss Company called the police who arrived almost immediately.

For the next hour and a half, the police had the man seated while they called “downtown” for Colombo to arrive, where they would question Mr. Dumb Ass.

As they were leading Mr. Dumb Ass out of the Wanna-Be Bank and Truss Company in handcuffs, TLW had to pass him. Mr. Dumb Ass, his eyes fixed straight ahead, somehow caused TLW to look away. SHE DIDN’T WANT TO EMBARRASS HIM!

Said I: “Toots, the dumb ass has already been embarrassed, you should have wished him a nice day!”

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is hysterical! I can't stop laughing,and I could just see Ellen being kind enough not to "embarrass" him!