A SPECIAL FRIEND

Today’s blog is from a special friend of mine, who I reconnected with during the reunion. She has a message and maybe a lesson for all of us. You can substitute any affliction for the one she describes, and the message is the same!

We all need to understand and learn from one another, stop judging and start caring for one another. Life is too short as it is and to take on the burden of shame because we are stigmatized is unfair to all of us.

Sometimes we see people that walk differently, speak differently and behave differently, yet we stare at them and not once try to understand the ‘Hell’ that is in them and they are going through. Cast aside your judicial robes for now, and try to hear her cry and know but for the grace of God, we do not visit it. If we did, then we can understand better ourselves.


Today is my son's BIRTHday. He will forever be 35, for that is how old he was when he was taken away suddenly September 5, 2006. I would like to share with you the way we are. When Russell was born, it was impossible to imagine that he would suffer in the ways he did. Not every child will make this choice, but one bad choice can lead to a life time of suffering and struggling for the rest of their earthly lives. His addiction started with experimentation and became bigger than he was and the control was out of his reach. Adolescent symptoms of being invincible and immortal lay the ground work for the making that wrong choice. Russell took the wrong path but before he could turn back he paid the ultimate price with his life.

I will never be able to hug him again. All I have left of that time is memories of my son who was handsome, athletic, sensitive, charming and witty. He would have made one hell of a Dad.

Russell's greatest gift to me was his life, his presence, and his everlasting love.

The pain I bear from losing my beloved son is doubled by the disapproval of his addiction and people unwilling to accept that addiction is disease. I know now that no matter hard you try, no matter how much you love, how watchful you are, no matter what your religious beliefs, this can happen to you. This does not just happen to bad kids.

During our twenty year “addiction dance” he outwardly looked like your average American son. He graduated Fort Knox and was stationed at Fort Hood. I know this because they presented me with the American flag at his funeral. He graduated West Palm Beach Culinary Arts and worked as a sous chef at Breakers and then Hyatt Regency. Once a young boy with dreams and aspirations just like any other boy trying to carve out a life for himself, died at his battlefield. I will always give him credit for his bravery on that battlefield.

My precious child has a disease
It's destroying him day by day
Oh I'm so sorry you earnestly tell me
I just don't know what to say

The disease came on slowly
Without a hint or clue
By the time I felt its impact
There was nothing I could do

Well my friend I'll tell you
My little family secret
My child is a drug addict
I've tried so hard to keep it

For when people come to know
The reason for my despair
They don their self-imposed judicial robes
And pass judgment without care

What kind of parent must I be
I see the question in your eyes
Well I was a parent just like you
Believing all the lies

For when addiction enters your life
No matter how you've raised them
It'll turn your world upside down
And you are powerless to save them

That beautiful body is just a shell
Masking what lives inside
The addiction Monster has invaded my son
His heart and soul have died

But I still love him with all of my being
For I remember when
He was more than "just a drug addict"
He was a loving and caring young man

Now that you know the awful truth
Will you stay or will you leave.............
If the disease was socially acceptable~~~~

excerpts from Sherry McGinnis

Query: Would you have treated the situation differently had been cancer or a virus?

I would like to leave you with one of my fondest memories. Russell and I had picked out our song that we would have played at his wedding by Whitney Houston "I will always love you" I had this dance with my son prematurely not knowing it would never come to pass.


Time can change me but I can't change time.

I Will Always Love You

If I
Should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go
But I know
I'll think of you every step of
the way

And I...
Will always
Love you,
Will always
Love you
You
My darling you
Mmm-mm

Bittersweet
Memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So good-bye
Please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you
You need

And I...
Will always love you
I...
Will always love you
You,

I hope
life treats you kind
And I hope
you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish you joy
and happiness
But above all this
I wish you love

And I...
Will always love you
I...
Will always love you


I, I will always love
You....
You
Darling I love you
I'll always
I'll always
Love
You..