THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN

It’s that time of the year again! The month of June has rolled around and people do silly things. I know, it happened to me, they get married! As a public service to newlyweds, the editors of DelBloggolo compile a list of helpful hints for young men about to enter this sacred pact, and men, think of it as a survival guide. (Please, don’t thank me.)

It was 39 years ago I entered a world of the unknown, uncertainty and surprises by hitching my wagon to one “Miss Manning”, as she liked to call herself. The road to marriage is short, but the road after is the one you want to be cautious with.

Here goes:

1. When lying to her, always look her in the eye. (They like that)

2. When speaking, choose your words carefully, because they always come back to haunt you.

3. If she can cook, don’t say you like what she made more than once, because if you do, you will get it so often you will look like it!

4. When her family announces they are coming, always remember they are not the children, they will go away at some point in time.

5. If you insist on having children, be prepared to see ALL your in-laws wrapped into one package!

6. Make sure you say; “I love you”, even if you can’t get the words up, mouth them.

7. If she says she is going to visit her family for a few days, do NOT look too gleeful, pleased or show the slightest signs of delight.

8. If she says she is going to visit her family for a few days, do NOT look too sad, or she will change her mind.

9. Always remember: her mother will have the last thought.

10.When she goes shopping for a new dress, always compliment her in it. If you don’t, she will go out again, exchange it and you go through the whole drill once more!

11. If she asks you how she looks in her new dress, don’t ask: “compared to what?”

12. If she says she is going to the beauty parlor, do not say: “Make sure they take you this time.”

13. When watching TV, always be mindful that she WILL speak to you while something important is going on.

14. When watching TV, always be mindful that she WILL speak to you while something important is going on, but NEVER, EVER, ask her to hush or stifle herself for the moment.

15. When watching TV, always be mindful that she WILL speak to you while something important is going on. Pretend you are interested, but lowering the sound, looking at her, and hope you didn’t lower the sound too much to miss what is going on.

16. Take her out to dinner once in a while, give her your cell phone, and when she is done eating, have her call you so you can pick her up.

17. Lastly, and most importantly: those three words they all want to hear,

“YES MY DEAR!”

Good luck you poor bastards!