As you know by now, TLW (The Little Woman) teaches little 2nd grade heathens all about God, in the hopes that they don’t turn out like me. Part of her teaching has to do with informing the little darlings on how to behave when receiving their First Communion. There is a procedure to follow when getting the host, and the future practitioners of the faith must conduct themselves in a pious and respectful way.
So this led me to question my procedure and behavior when I go up to receive communion.
“Toots, do you use your right or left hand when you receive communion?”
“Oh! Interesting you should ask that question!”
“It is?”
“Well, you should always use your hand that you eat with and place it under your other hand, receive the host, and with the hand that you use to eat, place the host in your mouth.”
“Oh! I just take the host and stick it in my mouth.”
“What else do you do when you receive the host?”
“Me? I just mozey over to the pew, say hi to Brian Duggan and park my butt, in a holy manner of course.”
“Well, you should bow your head first, reverently, say ‘amen’ I say ‘AHMEN’ and go to your seat.”
“Well, I say ‘AHMEN’ too, it sounds more churchy, makes the priest think I’m holy!”
“Tsk, tsk, tsk!”
Look folks, I’m going to hell, will be with all my friends, and will of course miss TLW!
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