DIDJA EVER?

Did you ever wake up in the morning, and the aches and pains seem to greet you before the sun does? You move about slowly, every movement a chore, and you are not sick? All you seem to want to do is go back to bed until you feel better, but that annoying thing called a conscience tells you: you have to get up, you have to go somewhere, and you can’t be late? This usually occurs on a Monday morning, with rain coming down.

You look back at the bed, still warm from a motionless deep sleep, beckoning you, enticing and seducing to the point that maybe 5 minutes more won’t hurt? Maybe there is someone living with you like a spouse or significant other, they seem perky, alive, and full of energy. Did you ever want to smack that person silly, make them want to go lie down after you smacked them around? Then you both could go back to bed!

Didja ever go down a busy two-lane road, speed limit maybe 45 and someone ahead of you is a math wiz? They take the 45 and divide it by 2, and that is their speed? For all you out there who loved math (when class was over) the numbers come to 22.5 mph. So he moves on to the light, and stops. Chuckles is 3 car-lengths behind the car in front of him, enough room if he moved up to allow you to get your backside out of a busy intersection. The light changes, and Chuckles takes a minute to move, then at blinding speed up to 22.5 mph, manages to slip under the light in time, before it changes. I usually don’t wish death on anyone, but I can make an exception in his case.

Didja ever go to a restaurant, try something for the first time, rave about it, then go back, and that is the last time you ever order it again, because it tasted so ordinary?

Didja ever spend a whole day in your yard for spring or fall clean-up, the place looks marvelous, and then an overnight storm blows in and you think: Where was I yesterday? Why does my body hurt so much? Am I delusionary?

If you are Catholic, didja ever go to church one Sunday, and the Priest says: “Let us offer each other the sign of peace.” You would, but Chuckles, who drove to church, at 22.5 mph, just sneezed, into his hand, without a handkerchief!

Didja ever go to the pharmacy to pickup a prescription. Chuckles who drove there also, at 22.5 mph: pulls in too. Chuckles can walk fast, he leads you into the pharmacy, right to the pickup counter, then proceeds to ask questions about his prescription, debate the merits of it, and takes forever to complete the transaction. Finally he is done, leaves, and as you reach the counter, the pharmacist says: “Just a minute” and disappears for five minutes?

Just a minute…