Saturday, February 03, 2018

I AM A CARD-CARRYING MEMBER OF THE WBBATC


The other day we got our credit cards from the Wanna-Be Bank and Truss Co. It was a proud moment, something akin to the old Russians getting their Communist Party Membership card, or even a Nazi flaunting his membership card.

To be a fulltime member, one must activate the card, so I go on my cell phone and make the call. This is, of course, magical and someone thanks me for calling in English. I listen as she directs me to push #1 for English and then gives me all the instructions. I follow carefully, deliberately punching up the numbers and being very careful as to no mistakes on my part.

After the last number is pushed, the lady in English says my attempt was wasted, something doesn't match! This can't be, I match, I check my socks and they match, my shoes look alike almost, and even my hands look like they belong together. Is this the way for the Wanna-Be Bank and Truss Company to tell me I am no longer wanted? Is this financial rejection?

I take an aspirin and try again, this time I double check my number punching, being more positive than ever in my young life. Still, that ugly dark message is conveyed once again to me: "Forget it, Pal, you don't match!"

Retreating to my kitchen I make a cup of tea, pray to St. Anthony (Saw this work once in real time by TLW) and suddenly realize, I am using my cellphone, not my home phone! Another mystery of yours truly solved! 

Armed with assurance, I make one last attempt and this time I change phones, check my socks and shoes and dial, hitting pay dirt! I'M IN! I'M IN! I'M IN! I'M IN! I'M IN!

Now all I need to do is have some money to make the membership card mean something!

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