SOMETIMES IT GETS DARK

Being a diabetic can be a real downer. You take the medications, but you can't seem to stick to a diabetic diet of sawdust and water, you exercise even though you hate it and have the doctor tell you the meds aren't working enough, you need higher dosages, and more or new ones. The exercises only make you arthritis worst and so you have to curtail some things in your routine and you feel guilty about it.

Then one day you discover you need to inject yourself like a drug addict, and so you do. The doctor calls and says the meds are at the max, let's start with needles.

The irony of it all is that the further you delve into trying to stop the progression of the disease, the worse you feel. You realize that your time is running out, that there is nothing you can really do to stem the tide of the illness.

Things like breakfast on a Sunday morning in a dinner with your wife is now questionable, and that is a downer. It adds to the gloom and doom. I shouldn't eat pancakes because pancakes are bad for me. I love pancakes! Eggs? Scramble them and only one piece of dry toast, preferably from sawdust.

I don't drink my Jack Daniels Manhattans anymore, too much sugar, but do have a couple of glasses of red wine. Miss my cocktails.

One should not eat red meat, love a good steak! There is the kidney that has some problem is I have to drink a lot of water according to the doctor, high blood pressure and high cholesterol all contribute to the pill count. I've already had a triple by-pass and a carotid artery cleared, an operation that leaves a scar and numbness across your face. My right foot has been in pain since 1967, over 50 years!

Not to complain but, life is a pain in the foot, a pisser, and frankly, in spite of it all, I intend to find a way to laugh, probably at myself.

On the positive side, I have a new grandson coming soon and I will see my beautiful granddaughter next month. If I can just live long enough.