THE DOKTER IS IN

The other day, TLW (The Little Woman) and me were walking in the mall for a little exercise. That is what old people do. The environment is controlled, and we can be entertained as we walk.

The walk was uneventful except for the fact that I was getting a litany of complaints due to physical ailments. TLW was running down a rather long list of physical ailments she needed to tell me about. Her motto is: “Misery loves company.” For years, my complaining has occupied our conversations, but not this time.

From her feet to her back, there were detailed descriptions! It finally came to me that I probably need a younger wife! Being how we have just celebrated 38 years, I think I should re-exam the marriage license, and see if I can trade her in for a seat at CitiField® in Flushing. The problem with that is I will need to throw in some cash, and probably a player to be named later. CitiField® seats are very expensive!

TLW wasn’t always like that. I just started to break down from day one, while she is only now starting. Of course, she has reasons for the breakdown carrying four children, while I have none. If I can make a trade, I will miss her, and would probably visit her once a month, to tell me what to do, or how to do it, or where it is.

I will be strong if the trade happens. Well, maybe not strong, maybe a little worried. OK, a lot worried. I wonder if this is such a good idea? Maybe I could get a loaner wife, someone who comes in once a week and tells me where, tells me who, and tells me how! I’d pay for that service. In fact, TLW could tell me which credit card to use to pay for it!

Please remember all those that need our prayers, including my brother-in-law, John.