ANOTHER VISIT

Sitting in the waiting room, I was busily doing a Sudoku puzzle, when suddenly the door swung open. In entered a young mother and two young rug rats. The little girl was charming and well behaved, and the little boy was on the fast tract to strangulation. Screaming, hanging on his mother’s arm, running and jumping, he finally banged into my chair. At that point, I gave him a cockeyed look and his mother came to rescue him from my clutches. I wouldn’t hurt the little darling, but I did stick my tongue out at him. Scooping him up she dragged both the kids out of the waiting room.

As I waited, a man entered about my age and made an announcement to the girl behind the window: “Hello, I’m George Mimone, and I’ll be your new patient!” I thought, “Big frigging deal, everyone stand and give this guy a round of applause!”

Finally, the nurse calls me into the examining room, but first I have to make a pit stop at the scale and offer a urine sample. I’m told to wait outside the toilet until the person ahead of me is done. I wait. I wait some more. I wait irritated, I wait impatiently, I wait almost till the cows come home. There is fiddling with the doorknob, there is water running, I still wait. I wonder to myself, “How hard is it to pee in a cup? COME OUT YOU MORON. He finally comes out, and it’s my doctor!

I figure this should be an easy visit, since all I’m suppose to do is submit a urine sample for the doctor to check, so he can send me on my way.

DR. STRANGEGLOW: “UH OH!”
ME: “WHAT?”
DR. STRANGEGLOW: “Look at this lab report! It’s negative!”
Me: “That’s good, no?”
DR. STRANGEGLOW: “No, it means that something has happened, you didn’t have a bladder infection, come into my office to discuss this.”

DR. Strangeglow then gives me a long explanation as to the possibilities and what they mean. All sound pretty nasty and I’m now depressed!

So, for the next three weeks, I have to go to a lab and submit samples for the lab to send to him.

Please remember all those that need our hopes and prayers, including my brother-in-law, John.