BATTLE OF THE SHEETS

They said that World War I was the: “War to end all wars.” Then, before the ink is dried, a crazy paperhanger misfit starts another one!

This morning, I awoke from my slumber, and what do I see standing on the other end of the bed, but TLW (The Little Woman)! “Ah! She’s trying to kill me in my sleep, collect the insurance money, and find a younger husband!” I thought. Instead, I find her pointing to the bed, and the sheets. “God! I hope I didn’t start wetting the bed, I’m still too young for that!” But no, she was trying to convince me that I had taken all the sheets, that it is ME who takes all the sheets up.

I’m on to her little game! I know that she got me while I was asleep, and dragged the sheets over to my side, and planned the rest! Devious, I say. After dragging the sheets, she ran over to her side, and as I awoke from the jostling, she was standing there, pointing down at the bed! Ha! Like I would fall for that.

Before leaving for work this morning, she began by saying how she had to “suffer” the whole night, and decided it was a losing battle. She claimed she was barren of any sheets. Sheet less, but I say: “BULLSHEET!”

Her obvious attempt at making me the sheet eater, is not going to work, and I will remain ever diligent in my reporting of this injustice and cruelty to my person!

Please remember all those that need our hopes and prayers, including my brother-in-law, John.