UNDER CONSTRUCTION

TLW: “Well, what do you think?”

Me: “ I think so.”

TLW: “You’ll be able to handle it?”

Me: “Sure, why not? How high do you want it?”

TLW: “Up to here. How long will it take?”

Me: “I’m not sure, its maybe a two swear job,” (English and Italian.)

We decided to give it a try. The wall mount was sitting in the box in our den since the bladder infection, and now it was time to mount it and attach the TV in our bedroom.

Bravely I took out my tools and surveyed the situation, trying to imagine every possibility of things going wrong. I checked for studs and got my pencil out and started to measure. Carefully marking where the screws would go, I took out the mount and laid out the screws and instructions. This time it would be different, I thought. I would keep my temper, if something goes wrong, I would correct it.

I look at the instructions, and they clearly read: “Instructiones para la…” Wait a minute: this is in Spanish! They also have them in French, which I don’t speak, and besides, I don’t come from Haiti either. Finally, I find the English version. OK! We are on our way! Life is good, once again!

I took out the first bolt to mount, and discovered, I couldn’t. I didn’t have a tool that would fit the 10 mm bolt head! What the hell is this? Why the hell do I have a 10 mm bolt head? Isn’t this America?

Off I go to Sears, to find a tool that will fit the bolt head.

$10 later, I’m home with the new tool. How do you get this thing from the packaging? It is welded in plastic, thick heavy plastic.

Up I go to the bedroom and start to work. The heavy screws go in, but become hard to turn by hand about half way in! TLW (The Little Woman) brings in a monkey wrench to grip the tool to turn it. I finally mount all three. So far, so good, no swear words, not even in English! We attach everything else, and set up the TV. We lay on the bed to test for sight and clarity. All is well!

I go into my studio to work, and TLW says: “I think it is a little low.”

Me:“©¨ˆ¥ƒø∆˜• ∫πø∆ˆπø˚πˆøπˆ˙∫¬∆ˆ∫¬ˆ¨†˚…¬…æπø¥§ §∞•˙∆˙¬˙∆µ ∆“ 𠆶ø• ˆˆø∆…ˆ ˆø∆ø•¥π˙… øˆ…ø•¥–ø πøπª æ …ø•¥–ø πøπª æ π˚π˚“π“π …¬˚ …¬˚–º–º–º“πˆ‘ª∆“¨∫´ ∂çøˆ˜‘776=”

Please remember all those that need our hopes and prayers, including my brother-in-law, John.