IS THAT WHAT I GOT?

Yesterday I went to my doctor, and almost died of old age, waiting to see him! He seems to be very busy when I hurt the most.

Walking gingerly, I go into the examining room and sit on the chair, since my back was killing me, I didn’t want to sit on the examining table.

Finally, he shows up! “Why are you here?” he asks, and I repeat for the third time, once when I got the appointment, once with the nurse, and now him. “I got a booboo in my tummy." “Where?” I point to where and he says” “That’s your bladder.” I think, this is good, he went to his anatomy classes, and now he wants to impress me with what he learned. He looks at my ‘pee test strip’ and says: “Oooh, you have a lot of blood in your urine! And, your temperature is up!” I come right back with: “Oh!” “Yes, see, this should be pink, it’s green! Go into the x-ray room. ” I go into the Xerox room and wonder why no one is coming, then, I realize my mistake. I find the x-ray room and his assistant comes in and says drop your pants and lay on the table” Now she is a kindly old woman, but I don’t think I want to do that with her! I get on the table, and she places a paper blanket over me and starts to dig into my bellybutton, while adjusting the x-ray machine. “The doctor will be right in.” Famous last words.

Laying there in agony, after 20 minutes, he finally arrives. He digs into my bellybutton, and calls in his assistant. “You ought to know this! The blue side goes in here, and this isn’t even locked in!” “I’ll try to do better the next time.”

He shoots and says: “Meet me in my office.”

I wait in his office. I think: “Is it cancer, a stone, am I going into the hospital, do I need to say ‘goodbye’ to all my family and friend?” I look around his office, read his diplomas, look at all the samples that are stacked against his wall, watch his computer monitor and wait some more. I think: I wonder if I’ll survive for one more birthday? Maybe I’ll go on my birthday! Hum, wouldn’t that be a kicker, one date covers all!” He finally shows up. I wonder where the x-ray is. Then he puts on his monitor, and there I am, in bones! “Is that me?” “Yes, it is. It looks pretty good, just that blood in your urine. Come back in a week and a half so I can check it out. Meanwhile you have a bladder infection!”

I go home and call TLW (The Little Woman). I tell her all, and she then calls me back. “I was consulting with my medical staff her at the Wanna-be Bank and Trust Company. Doug says he had a kidney stone and had to drink a lot of water, and Lois says to drink a lot of beer. She says that helps!”

Me; “Tell Doug thanks a lot and Lois that I love her.”

Please remember all those that need our hopes and prayers, including my brother-in-law, John.