OH YES YOU ARE!

Today was a strange day for me. I took a personal day off to see a podiatrist about my podia’s, and everything got very confusing.

It all started when the Little Woman gave me her book of recognized HMO providers under our health care insurance. This book is about as thick as a phone directory, and has headings for all the different specialties, such as: Podiatrist, Endocrinologist and enthemologist. I needed to find a podiatrist and naturally looked under Podiatry. I called for an appointment and got one for 11:00 A.M. I arrived a few minutes early in case I needed to fill out forms. As I sat through my appointed hour, I noticed the nurse was taking people who came in way after my appointed time. I inquired and she said she would be right back. About ten minutes later she was right back and apologized, and said somehow my name got lost in the shuffle.

In I go into the inner sanctum and get weighted, increasing my tonnage as she flipped the weight around the scale. Into the little room I go and sit on the table to begin my lower back pain ritual. She takes my blood pressure and temperature (orally, thank God.)

“The Doctor will be right in.” So I prayed that was so. All of a sudden this very attractive woman walks in and I think that she doesn’t look like any of the nurses I ever had. She introduces herself as Doctor Neitzski, and shakes my hand. I thought, her podiatrist’s hands have been touching feet all day, and after viewing some of the feet out there in the waiting room, I wondered if she could surgically remove my hand, as a favor.

She sits behind a computer and asks for forgiveness, as she has to inquire about my medical history. Hey, I forgive easily if they are: beautiful, or give potential needles.

I give her a list of medications I take, which includes dosage and frequency. She is grateful AND impressed! She starts to ask questions, like why I am there? For my podia’s and because I have diabetes, how long I’ve had diabetes? Etc.

Finally she asks me, who treats your diabetes? I answer her question with “my Primary Care Physician.” She says: “You can’t have TWO Primary Care Physicians!” I get confused. She looks at me, I look at her, we both look at each other, and she says, ”I’m a Primary Care Physician”. I respond, “But you’re my Podiatrist. She says, “No I’m not, I’m a Primary Care Physician.” I come back with “Are you sure?” I must admit that was a snappy comeback, filled with intelligence and shows a great mind at work.

Turns out the publishers of the resource guide mislabeled her and her partners practice.

I have a new Primary Care Physician as of today! If I don’t change it, my old Primary Care Physician will be pretty upset since I’m paying for his grandchild’s education.