Yes, but you would never know I was in America. I visited a hospital this weekend, in Uruguay, South America or Brookhaven, NY, I forget which. My first problem was answering some simple questions for the patient. The interrogator was a male nurse from probably the Philippines. His questions were somewhat ordinary such as: “When you av a bowwell movement, do you have trouble googoling?”
I became more alarmed as I noticed the wall had signs in two languages, and I thought that maybe I was in Ontario, but no, those signs are in French and English, these are in Spanish and English.
To further complicate the situation, the patient’s roommate was Hispanic, and the TV was tuned to a Spanish station. The room was packed with Hispanics who I think were coming into the country illegally through a hole in the toilet floor of the hospital room. After a while of sitting, I would jump up a do the rumba, finishing it up with the cha-cha, along with the nurse who was holding a rectal thermometer as I swayed to the Latin beat of Trini Lopez.
Of course there were a few Americans walking about, but they were pushing sunshine carts, and medicine tables. The doctors were all Americans, who spoke English to the nurses, in turn screwed it up anyway. It’s good to know you are getting screwed in your native tongue.
As I walked to and from the room, I noticed a lot of little Hispanic children in flip-flops with their mommas chasing them, yelling, “I calling the gringo!” The child would yell "EEEEEEEEEEEEYYAAAAAAA" You would think they would yell in English!
Well I guess I’ll voy a la mi casa ahora.
Adios amigos
P.S., To Steve O, I think we will have to make a lot of noise to get a present. Let’s try Nima.
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