I AM WHAT I READ

I, like everyone else in this world am a little self-conscious to say the least. In fact the least I have to say, the better.

Visiting the library the other day I wanted to take out some movies to view, being how it was going to be rainy and gloomy for a few days coming up. I like setting the mood for such days so decided on a Dracula CD, and I was going to select some additional like movies. But as I was reaching for them, I noticed the Librarian, and the fact that I was going to have to go through her to borrow these movies.

Thinking that I needed some variety in my selection, I seriously thought of taking out Mary Poppins or The Sound of Music so the Librarian would think I was well rounded. I even tried to find some educational film on physics and the laws of gravity, but nothing exist. I went over to the computer section and took out a program on creative writing that I knew would not work on my Mac computer because it was PC based, but it would sure look good.

Slowly and carefully I returned the Dracula movies to their assigned places and started to select other types of movies.

What was my problem you ask? Why must you always ask? Huh?

Well, to be honest, I didn’t want the Librarian to think that I was some kind of psycho taking out these morbid movies. That coupled with the fact that I hadn’t shaved that day made me all the more self-conscious. I did comb my hair.

I should be ashamed of myself, but I can’t help it sometimes, it kind of resembles what you felt when your Mom would tell you to make sure you have clean underwear on in case you get hit by a car. First impressions are always important, and in case I ever see the old battleaxe behind the counter again, I don’t want her cringing in fear or maybe suspicion.

Now I know I wasn’t nice just then, but she did ruin my viewing pleasure. Then I thought maybe I could get a John Wayne movie in honor of Uncle Eddie, a John Wayne buff, the Duke was his man. Maybe a war movie, but no, that was too violent, and I’m not that big a fan of war movies. Murder mysteries, yes, that’s the ticket with a Hercules Poirot or some other Agatha Christie novel approach to my viewing enjoyment. The Librarian shouldn’t object to that literary queen of mayhem, Ms. Marpole being the star, could she?

You know the next time I get like this, I’m taking out all the old family video’s I took, that should scare the hell out of me when I see how young I looked in them compared to today.

Weight loss: 1 pound for 2 weeks!