IS THERE NO RESPITE?

I am a victim of my own clumsiness! TLW (The Little Woman) and I flew down to West Palm Beach for my nephew’s wedding last weekend. Having printed our boarding passes from the internet: we entered Southwest Airlines to check in our luggage.

That was my big mistake!

TLW likes to take charge. Electronically we decided we would enter the world of air travel, and she would lead the way. I, knowing her from her days when she was not so good at the computer watched her. Deftly she perused through the different windows, punching out the screen with a fingered flair. Making me proud. She had all her documents and was ready to hand them to the lady behind the counter to check our I.D.. But I had forgotten to take out my license.

Rushing I go to my wallet and start to extricate the NYSDMV license that has my picture on it. Digging into the license section, in my haste, I struggle getting it out of the tight space and the whole wallet explodes! Pictures and cards and I.D. fly away into the air.

I bend down to retrieve it, and my glasses fall out of my pocket, I bend down to pick up the glasses, wallet exploding again! I am starting to get embarrassed, as I reach down, and kick the glasses by mistake. The security people are now watching, the TLW takes the large suitcase we were carrying and starts to move along, as I pick up my stuff on the ground.

Now I got the giggles, my poor wife is carrying the big bag, and some smaller carry-on. I’m just holding my wallet! Now I see the comical sight that it is, and laughingly ask her to put the suitcase down so I can carry it. The whole damned airport at 6:30 am is watching this spectacular spectacle. I’m looking for a hole that will accommodate me and the luggage.

The security men at the scanner where they throw your bag, finally comes over to me and takes the bag out of;
1) respect
2) pity
3) disgust
4) Because he knows I’ll probably tie up air travel for the rest of the day if he doesn’t.

You guessed it, 5) I’m a dumb ass.

Tomorrow, it doesn’t stop there.

Please remember my wonderful friend Joan and Anita.