I WUZ HAD!

The other day I got e-mail from my niece, Jean-Marie, commenting on the fact that she couldn’t believe her Mom was 60 years old. I suggested to her that she should try to think how her Mom’s older brother must feel.

I could remember my sister being the youngest in the household at one time and how it turned my world upside down.

Operating in Brooklyn as I did, finding ways to amuse myself, sometimes at a sister’s expense was fun. Plotting ways to get an extra piece of cake, or having a fake sick-day, or making an excuse for something I did was hard work for a 6-year old. I had to be quick, agile and one step ahead of Mom and Dad. Some of my ‘operations’ required guile, some gall, always on the precipice of discovery and awful retribution by Mom.

As the plans and plotting continued, I began to realize somehow, that I was compromised! There was a mole or spy in my mist. My Mom was suddenly one step ahead of me! What seemed like a great plan was suddenly a disaster. Mom seemed to know what I was planning, almost before I even planned it! Was I losing my touch?

Then one day I discovered why! My sister Fran was getting ice cream from Dad. Not only was she talking for ice cream, but soda. She was selling me out for a few ounces of soda! And she struck a deal with Dad, to make her: “Boss of the soda”!

The “Boss of the soda” ruled supreme. My older sister (Much older), Tess, and I were at her mercy! We couldn’t have a second glass without the “Boss of the soda’s” OK!

Then one day it happened. Fran got the toothache of the century. Screaming, she went to the dentists. The first of my Mom’s five children to ever visit the dentist! Suddenly, Mom’s source of information was dried up! No soda, ice cream, or even cake could now influence Fran’s sweet tooth. My operations were now going over, as smooth as a highly waxed floor! Each operation was performed with aplomb, and I was back in business.

THE BOSS OF THE SODA WAS TAKEN DOWN BY A TOOTHACHE!

Please remember my pals Joan and DD and all those that need our prayers.