FOR MOST PEOPLE IT IS JUST ANOTHER DAY

But not in my family is it just another day. It is a day of celebration, although it will not have a parade, or a feast or even a cheer. No, it will be a day of some solemnity and quiet reflection and not your usual kind of celebration. I guess we can call it a commemoration if you like.

Thirty-two years ago, on a cold and snow covered day, my son Joseph was born. After many false starts and come home phone calls from TLW (The Little Woman) Joseph was born in the sunrise of the day.

When I first met him, like with all my children, my chest was out about a mile, and my mind raced about what life would be like with the new person. This was my second son, and I felt like I was on a roll! He and I live every day together, at least in my mind. He never lived to see his second birthday, and why he died is not as important as that he lived. In his short life he never talked, never really walked, just barely stood up, but left a legacy of love and remembrance that will last my life time and span beyond my life. He and my daughter Ellen are part of the reason I give as much time as I can to help others, and try to leave people laughing and remembering that life is short, so why not enjoy it.

The first thing I learned was he refused to eat, rejecting his feeding, TLW gave me both baby and bottle and said: “Here, you try.” Cuddling Joseph in one arm, like I knew how to do from the first two, bottle in the other hand, I tried; and he took the bottle! I thought: this was easy!

In just less than 2 short years he was gone. But I will still celebrate his life, because he was here on this earth, giving his parents joy that he was ours. I don’t think TLW, #1 Son or even my daughter would trade even one minute of his life with us.

This is not to say I am sad, because I am not. I know he died too soon, but maybe I live too long. I will take what I can get in the joy department, and I will always remember, both the pain and the joy he left us with, but mostly the joy.

Once again, I wasn’t going to write about him, but I realize he as well as my other children are all alive in my mind, so why not? He lived and he gave my wife and I great joy while he was alive, as do my other children today. To deny his existence is to deny he lived, but he did, he smiled and laughed with us, and he played and he cried. He did all the things children do.

So today I will treat myself to something I enjoy in his memory, and be glad I know him. There are people out there I genuinely care about, people who I’ve known all my life, some I met after many years of absence, and some I have yet to meet. We won’t dwell in our sorrow, instead we will laugh in spite of it! We will watch a sunrise as well as a sunset, sing a song and paint a picture. And God forbid, if need be, hold each other’s hand when that time comes. But I hope to be there.

“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: It might have been.”