Being an old man, ready for the grave, the nurses at Aetna call on occasion to see if their investment is still worth the while. They usually call after dinner around 6:30 and begin their inquisition. The reason for the calls is the policy of the insurance company to foster good health, and keep an eye on me in case the wish to drop me from their rolls.
I am a stinker.
“How are you today Joseph? For quality assurance and training purposes, this call is monitored ” goes the first question, and I hit it right out of the park!
“Fine, nurse Cratchet!”
“Has anything changed since we last spoke?”
“Nothing but my under wear, nurse Cratchet.”
“Good, good, is there anything you want to talk to me about?”
“Well, lately I’ve been tired, I get sleepy in the late afternoon, especially when I didn’t sleep the night before, nurse Cratchet.”
“Do you know why that is?”
“I think nurse Cratchet that I am 66 years old, and like dog poop that lies in the heat of a summer afternoon, it becomes overwhelming, nurse Cratchet?”
“Oh no, you are still considered young, besides, dog poop will dry out, leaving no odor. When do you see your doctor again?”
“In a few months, I go every 3 months, whether I need to or not, unlike my under wear. There I try to be more consistent nurse Cratchet.”
“Do you know what keeps you awake at night, do you snore?”
“Oh, it’s the snoring all right, but I can’t seem to get her stop, nurse Cratchet!”
“Are you saying your wife snores?”
“It’s for you Toots, the Aetna nurse.”
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