The Easter Sunday Mass was packed at Immaculate Conception in Westhampton Beach, every seat was taken, and for a church we had never visited before, this was a whole new experience for us: me, TLW (The Little Woman) and Sista Tanj-Gerina. We were there to witness the beauty of a certain Bell-choir that had one participant in particular, my business partner Pam Rae playing.
As we sat in prayerful silence, TLW decides to do a fashion critique of the statues. Yes, those plaster forms the church employs to watch over me and make sure I’m behaving. They are usually made in an advanced ceramics class, because you can’t find that mold anywhere.
“That statue of Mary has a garish color blue!”
“Whaddaya mean? It is official St. Mary blue!”
“No, it is too garish.”
Poking Sista Tanj-Gerina awake, I ask her opinion.
“Madonna Joe, don’t make me laugh here!”
“I’m sorry Sista, but this particular section, where we are sitting is where all the lightning strikes. Be that as it may be, what do you think about the dress Mary bought for the occasion? Do you think she should have gone to a boutique, maybe another color? And what about the style?”
“I don’t know nothing, leave me out of this.”
Returning to TLW she also comments on the statue of St. Joseph, standing next to Mary and holding the baby Jesus.
“St Joseph looks kind of dark!”
“Well, what do you expect, this is a vacation town, a place where you go to the beach, of course he’s tanned! Sista? What do you think?”
“Gee, I guess so!”
“Well Sista, don’t you think it nice that they kept the family together all these years? I must say though, I’ve been going to church for over 60 years, and I never saw the kid get older!”
“Joe, I swear, I don’t need any lightning right now, I don’t even know these people, Madonna!”
I think it is a shame that no one seems to care about saintly fashion awareness!
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