TOASTED

The beautiful ladies you see in the picture are Courtney, her mom Claire and TLW, the handsome guys are #1 Son and Courtney's dad, Rodger the 'danceman'

When we met after the wedding, and all the toasts I did had been given, I was asked a number of times to reproduce the toast for the blogue on DelBloggolo. So as a public service and an attempt to get even with all of you who hate me, here is the toast I gave for the night of the bridal party rehearsal dinner which TLW (The Little Woman) and I hosted.


A FATHER’S TOAST TO THE COUPLE

My wife Ellen and I want to thank everyone for coming this evening to salute the wedding party, it is a group of very beautiful people, and some of you I know for many years now, some I look forward to knowing.

Today, as we gather for the final hours before the big day, I think it appropriate that as a father, I leave you both a few words of advice.

I’m sure you’ve gotten a lot of: “Good luck” and “Best Wishes”. Ever wonder why? What’s going to happen? Someone know something they are not telling? You are going to need it though. Yes, let’s face it, like a shiny new penny: you will start to tarnish a bit each day, until flatulence is not only totally acceptable, but expected.

Being married is sharing everything and working together as one. When we first married, we had nothing, and we worked very hard through the years to keep it.

Anthony, as a husband you need to take charge, be the man, wear the pants, and plan well. I remember our last anniversary weekend. I planned a great weekend out of town, 4 star fancy dinner reservation, a beautiful suite overlooking the Long Island Sound, and an off Broadway play. I remember getting home afterward, and pouring drinks to toast my romanticism. Your mother lifted her glass, eyes sparkling by now and asked: “Where the hell were you all weekend?”

Remember kids, that a man who is unmarried is incomplete, it is not until he is married that he is finished. Being married is a great thing, I know I love it, I know it is nice having that one special person you want to annoy the rest of your life, and, after all marriage is like a lollypop, the first year’s taste is a sweet surprise, then it gets stickier every year after.

With due respect to the moms here tonight, every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

There are secrets even in a good marriage. The secret to a good husband is; stay out of sight, keep quiet, never look her in the eyes when you have nothing to do and want to relax, and let her have her way. A good wife: just one, LET HIM THINK HE’S HAVING HIS WAY.

Anthony, back in the early seventy’s, there was a saying that went: “love is; never having to say you are sorry”, well let me tell you, it sure helps. ANOTHER secret to a good marriage-a good sense of humor, and a short memory.

You should never go to bed angry, stay up and argue, and remember Anthony, women have lousy memories: they remember everything you do!

And finally: To the groom: I discovered early in my marriage that I found it difficult to get the last word in any discussion. With time, though, I learned how to always get the last two words in every discussion. I Just made sure the words are "Yes dear."

So here’s to the beautiful Courtney, who I will be most proud to call my daughter, and to the groom, Anthony, whom I have always been proud to call my son: Lunga vita: l'amore per sempre, e sempre amare e vivere per l'altro soltanto. Long life: forever love, and always love and live for each other only. Salute’