IF IT’S FREE I’LL TAKE IT!

This past Christmas, TLW (The Little Woman) gave me a denim shirt for a present.

“Now, will you throw out that old shirt finally?”  

A YOUNGER HANGER

I love my denim: jeans, shirts, comfort is everything. I’m retired: I don’t have to impress anybody anymore. If I dress it is for my kids and TLW, after that, forgetaboutit!

“Sure.” I said.

As you know I have a beard, and sometimes I trim it. Trimming it requires going outside in my backyard and using an electric trimmer. Armed with a mirror and the trimmer I trim. Trouble is the hair can get all over my clothes. I was about to trim when I realized I still had that old denim shirt, so I got it and put it over my clothes to act as a buffer for my clothing as I trimmed. I thought that it was a pretty good idea!

I come down with the shirt on, the mirror and trimmer and she stops me.

TLW starts to laugh and says:

"YES, DEAR!"

“I can’t believe you find a reason NOT to throw something away!”

Well, I had to stand there and take her laughing, as she moved over to the microwave, which she was feeding with dishes she made.

“And another thing, every place you go, every store, every building that offers a brochure or newspaper or magazine you take one if it’s for free! And God forbid you should throw something out!”

“Well, it is for free, so I feel obligated to take one. ” Besides it says: “Take One.” I don’t take more than one edition of each. Besides, I’ve kept you around over 40 years!”

IN TRAINING

Needless to say I trimmed my beard in my old denim shirt. I was comfortable; it brought back memories of snacks past, and reminded me I’m not too fancy and am very easy to please.

This is all lost on TLW. I was going to list all my virtues for TLW, but who has that kind of time?

She has devised a way to make me crazy too. For instance, I complain that she leaves sweaters and coats on the backs of kitchen chairs to expand our closet. Since I mentioned it, she now uses my sweaters: so all my stuff is hanging on kitchen chairs. I can’t complain because it’s my stuff!

I must say: her strategy is brilliant.