A POPULATION BOOM

TLW (The Little Woman) preyed upon my conscience and asked on Sunday morning: “Are you coming to church with me this morning?”

“Yes dear.” She preyed so I’d prayed!

So off we go to instill a holy spirit in me, to help me find God, peace of mind and rid myself of mindless Godlessness. The church was packed. With a church that’s packed comes: kids. Little kids, big kids, crying kids, squirming kids and of course, rotten kids. Not to say I don’t like kids, I just don’t like; Little kids, big kids, crying kids, squirming kids and of course, rotten kids! You know the type, the kind that disrupt me when I’m trying to explain my case to Jesus, Mary and her husband Joseph.

There was one in particular, about a year in age, a little girl, that would have been happier at home. Instead the parent’s felt compel to pack her into a travel case and display her for cutesy consumption. As the tyke screamed, cried and squirmed, causing everyone around her to stop their meditation and look on. So rather than take the kid away they take her out of their suitcase and hold her up for display, where the child leans forward and smacks an old lady on the back. The startled lady is about to make a fist when she turns around and realizes it is a baby! So what does grandma do? She waves, gives a pathetic smile and turns around, probably to look for her missing teeth that must have flown out. The mamma is holding the God given gift to the whole world, and encourages her brat, (oops!) child to wave back. The brat (oops!) lets out a scream (primal).

Then off to the restaurant for breakfast, that sweet repast of scrambled eggs with French fries extra crispy, rye toast and coffee. Our happy waitress: who looked like she was still dressing, found us a booth so we could share and relate, seats us. TLW does the sharing and I do the relating.

Guess who shows up?

Go ahead, guess.

I’m not helping you guess, guess who.

Right! That blessed little event from the morning MASSacre, the screaming, back slapping, pacified sucker and disruptor of my worship of both God and eggs!

IS THERE NO JUSTICE? Here is the worst part of it, I actually listened to the sermon because I could understand it, the priest spoke English, and I left my sunglasses in the car on a rainy Sunday morning!