WhEn ThE MiNd LeAvEs YoU!

There are definite signs of old age besides grey hair. There is the ache and pain of getting up from a chair or being down on your knees and trying to get up, the fact that if you count your real teeth, it gets easier every year, and that if you wonder where that young person is you used to see every morning in the mirror went, he or she is under all those folds in your skin.

But the biggest sign of old age is not any of the above mentioned, no it is between your ears and it is called your mind or what is left of it.

As it is there are too many rules and regulations that govern life, too many people and places telling us what we have to do, from the Federal and State governments down to the town services we get. For instance: garbage, the necessary item that we seek to rid our self and our home of. You can’t just put it out to the curb anymore, NOOOOOO: you have to ask yourself what day it is first. Monday is an off day it comes from the hectic weekend of Saturday and Sunday for the garbage men. Tuesday is garbage day, and then we jump right into Wednesday, a day you have to guess whether it is paper or glass day, something like rocks or scissors day. Thursday is another day off for the garbage men, they need the rest from having to confuse you about what to put out on the curb the day before, and Friday is garbage once again, with a twist, you may add other items like a house, chair or overstayed relative.

The other day I did what I always do on a Tuesday, I put out the garbage can at the curb so the mental geniuses that take it can then leave the empty can across the street, down the block, and yes, if they try hard enough, around the corner on anther street. As I rolled the can out, it was a little like me: less than normal. Checking it I figured, so what, out it goes. I even got some other trash from the makeover we are doing in the bedroom before we sell.

Returning to my customary seat to breakfast and the morning news, TLW (The Little Woman) goes out and comes right back in.

“You have the wrong garbage out there!”

“I do! Did I take someone else’s garbage? Who complained?”

“No, today is Wednesday.”

“Huh! Are you sure, today is not Tuesday!”

“Nooooo, Today is Wednesday.”

Now I realize why the can was so empty, I had brought it out to the curb yesterday, and forgot! This leads me to believe there are other things I have forgotten to do, or worst still, will forget to do! There is an inner desperation building under my skin as I write this. The going into the next room for something then forgetting what it was you wanted to do when you got there is now child’s play!

I do recall Dad at a younger age than mine is now, taking his lunch to work with him everyday. On some mornings Mom would give him garbage to dump in the can as he rushed off to catch a subway to Canal Street in Manhattan. The garbage bag, like the lunch bag was brown paper, and about the same size and weight. Dagwood took the garbage to work and deposited the lunch in the garbage can! I have never done that.

And so, as I continue my trek to the sunset horizon, I need to check which bag I am carrying, and what day it is, or why I am even going somewhere when I should be sitting eating my breakfast. Amen!