GRANDMA VISITS

Often when she could come to visit the family, Grandma Frances would have Dad drive out to Brooklyn to pick her up for a few days visit. The ritual was well established and didn’t require a lot of preparation for Mom, her daughter-in-law. Just take down the curtains and clean them, vacuum and clean, wash floors and straighten out, prepare food and shop. As you can see, Grandma was low maintenance.

When Dad picked up Grandma he expected all his kids to be home when she arrived, ready to greet their grandmother like a regal matriarch that she seemed.

When Dad’s car pulled up we all peeked out the window from behind the curtain to watch as Dad opened the door, told Grandma to wait and called me out to unload Grandma’s salami, cheese, and wine and a few dozen, medicine bottles, about three large shopping bags.

As she entered the house it became alive as Mom would greet Grandma with a kiss and invite her in, Grandma smiling as she did. Sitting she would interview each child and ask questions, pinch cheeks, squeeze and hug. Grab your cheeks and pull away the fingers to kiss them.

Grandma was a religious lady, deeply embedded in her church and parish, a doer of deeds. She was the community lifeline for many Italian-Americans who came to her upset, uncertain or unsure.

I used to marvel at how many religious medals she wore, looking like a Vice-Admiral in the Italian Navy, and her fingers had more rings than anyone I knew, she was a marvel of Italian Grandmas. Her hands always smelled of basil (Italian, of course) or garlic and as I studied her fingers they showed not only love but the caring and nurturing that went into her amazing cooking.

I was Jo Jo and my baby sister was Joyann (Joanne) in her wonderful accented call of recognition.

Out of the two or three shopping bags would come Salami, cheeses, and bread, pork chops and steaks, beef and veal! Why? Because they were from HER butcher in Brooklyn, where the meats and cheeses were superior to those on Long Island! Once I asked Mom what made them so special and she explained it to me, there are no differences, the products are all the same name-brand, but when Grandma comes she comes with there intent that her son has the best.

It reminds me of a joke I once heard:

A newly married Carmine called his Mamma and said he was coming to visit her with his new wife.

Mamma said: “Carmine, no forgetta whenna you come you pusher the front door with a your shoulder, not too mucher, you breaker the door, but you pusher enough anda it open.

Thenna, whenna you get tom the doorbell banker, you user your noser to ringer the bell, no ringer too hard, but ringer it nizer or you breaker your nose!”

Carmine was confused and asked,

"Mamma, a whyer I user my shoulder anda my nose??? A whyer I no user my hands???”

Mamma: “Eh! You comer empty handed?”

-->