SUSPENDED IN UNCERTAINTY

As I sit here in the ICU at my daughter Ellen’s bedside the future looks uncertain. Since she had her tracheotomy she now forfeits her bed in her home. The ICF (Intermediate Care Facility) is not equipped to deal with residents who have a tracheotomy.

The awful realization that she will go into a nursing home is bothering me greatly. The care is always sub-par from my experiences with my mother and her ordeal and previous experiences with my daughter in rehab facilities.

There is one about three or four years ago in Southampton that I found good and made me happy that my daughter was in treating her well and doing it professionally, otherwise they have all been disappointments.

The next month will be a challenge and dread as I travel this road trying to get her in a decent home and keep her alive. Keeping her alive will not be easy and frankly, due to what her life is going to be, do I want to do that for my own selfish reasons. Would I want to live like my daughter will the rest of my life?