GEEZ!

That sums it up nicely.

The other day, I was out in my backyard, moving my sprinkler around to water some new grass seed I placed down on my lawn. It seems, when I bent down to pick up the sprinkler, I was too far over it, and the weight of my body pushed me forward a few inches, with the sprinkler now directly under my legs, and me reaching for nothing! Feeling like an idiot, I backed up, still bent down. At my age, you don’t waste a bend down.

As I type this, (This always seems to happen lately) I wanted to type the word “placed”, and I started by typing it ‘pal’ instead of ‘pla’.

Whenever I want to select an icon for a new program to load, I seem to select the wrong icon from the side of my screen! This always results in a long time to load something I don’t even want, but can’t stop!

I go into a bank, every teller in the bank, suddenly leaves for lunch! This could be anytime between 10:00 AM and 4:00 PM, just let me show up. The only person in front of me is at the only teller in the bank, counting out 40,000,000 pennies.

Of course, I couldn’t go a day without a lady in front of me at the supermarket checkout, buying 40,000,000 things, paying with coupons, and a check, and then doing an item-by-item question of every price.

Need I mention the stoplights? You know, the person who sits at a stop light with a very short green period. He/she inevitably falls asleep: you blast the sleeper awake, they come out of their coma, slipping under the green, just as it turns red, for you.

I’ve decided I’m too old for this world, that I should sign up for a space ride with the Russian space program, and when I’m over the moon, bail out. The problem is my parachute would probably tangle with my foot!

I once went to the original Yankee Stadium to watch the Roger Maris hit his 61st homerun. My seat was situated right behind a steel beam!

A six-hour flight to California once resulted in my sitting between two fat guys on a Southwest Airlines flight! (How I hate that system!) One guy had the figgits, in sudden bursts, the other, a gentleman from India or Pakistan, had them in slow motion!

None of the teams I root for ever make the playoffs, my warranties expire right before I need them, and my diet is getting more limited than ever! Where do I sign up for the space program, or do I need to know Russian?

Please remember my brother-in-law, John, and all those that need our prayers