ANYWAY YOU SLICE ME

She talking to her father here!

It’s Mother’s Day, and #1 Son (Anthony) and I decided that he would cook dinner for both his mother TLW (The Little Woman) and his lovely wife TLC (The Lovely Courtney), mother of La Principessa, (My beautiful granddaughter). The actual plan was for #1 Son to do the cooking and I would tell him what to do. Since both ladies like chicken, we decided on Chicken Francese with a side of linguine and dessert.

Now #1 Son was very eager and a great student, putting the batter and frying the chicken, cutting the lemons and opening the wine, when I decided to assist and press forward by chopping the parsley.

Selecting a plastic knife that was nearby, I admired the bright color and toy-like look of the instrument while marveling at the razor edging that was put into the plastic.

Me: “Now, here is how to chop parsley. First you gather the parsley into a crumbled ball and take the knife and start…”

All of a sudden there was this feeling that felt like a shocking disbelief! Like it was TLW’s birthday and I forgot, like I needed to deny it happened and it would go away! I had just sliced off part of my left forefinger nail and some meat underneath and blood was gushing out. I took a paper towel and decided if I hold it: it would stop.

the actual blade is a razor, NOT plastic

More paper towels was not doing it and in fact the blood was getting everywhere. I was bleeding into the sink and watching it flow away into the drain, and saw the piece of finger float down too.

TLW: “You better go to a walk-in clinic, for stitches, and do it soon.”

And so we arrived at the emergency walk-in and the room is pact with a bunch of sissies ahead of me, instead of staying home for Mother’s Day. Here I am bleeding to death and these sissies are calmly reading their magazines or going through their cell-phones. Oh, the inconsideration!

TOMORROW: OWWWWW!