YET AGAIN

-->

It was a rainy Wednesday late morning, when the phone came to life, disturbing my stupor and lack of interest in things in general. Looking at the caller ID, I see it is an 800 number, which makes me number than usual. I know that commerce is the driver of this great country, but 800 numbers that call me are annoying.

Being how the phone is in close proximity to me I make a supreme sacrifice and reach for it. I give it my best annoyed voice I can muster and say: “Jello?”

There is a few second pause and I can hear noise in the background when finally a voice comes on the other end.

“Hello, Mr. Del Bloggolo?”

“Yes.”

This is XYZ Time Shares, how are you today?”

This is like getting a call from Dr. Strangeglove asking me how my Time Share is going.

“What prompts you to ask about the state of my health?”

There is a chuckle on the other end and the guy is totally unprepared for that question. He then goes on to say:

“Haha, I guess you don’t want anyone to ask about the state of your health today!”

“Not unless you’re my doctor or my mortician, I don’t think it is anyone’s business.”

“Haha, well you have a nice day!”

There he goes again, worried about my welfare!

It seems to me that we in this country waste a lot of each other’s time. We ask stupid questions with no real interest in the answer, go on about meaningless things to talk about that no one could possibly be interested in, and again, don’t even listen to what others have to say because they are too busy wasting your time.

All the news that fits

Many years ago I was working in my home office and every afternoon I would get a call from the New York Times, inviting me to take on a subscription. This was way before the invention of the Internet, and phone solicitations were the norm, especially during the daytime. This particular call was everyday and everyday I’d say I wasn’t interested. Finally I had it where I couldn’t take it anymore and told them when they asked me once again: “How are you today?” I said:

“I just got a call from my doctor who informed me I have brain cancer and have less than 6 months to live. Do you have daily subscriptions?”

There was a long pause on the other end and then, without saying goodbye, just hung up, and NEVER called again! Now you may think what I did was sick and uncalled for, but it got the results I was trying to tell this moron daily for weeks. When you are self-employed, incoming phone calls can take on an importance, and being interrupted becomes an annoyance.

Now when I sit down to eat, the phone rings and they ask for me. I say just a minute I’ll get him. I lay the phone down and go back to eating, wasting his time AND ENJOYING MY DINNER BOTH AT THE SAME TIME!

They seem nice but must die!

I’m on a ladder ourside, maybe cleaning a gutter or fixing a part of the roof, the phone rings, you break your neck climbing down and only to find out it is a sales pitch. Boy do I get made.

“How Ya Doin???”

“How’m I doin, I’ll tell ya ya dumbass, I’m doing great, you know why??? Because I’m going to hang up on your dumb ass.”

I'm really a nice guy, just a little touchy sometimes.