DelBloggolo: EVERYDAY!

Thursday, May 14, 2015

EVERYDAY!

While preaching about forgiving ones enemies, the preacher asked for a show of hands of those who were willing to forgive their enemies. About half of the congregation raised their hands. The minister continued his sermon and again asked for a show of hands. This time, 80 percent of his congregation raised their hands. Not giving up, the minister continued for fifteen more minutes. When he again asked for a show of hands, all members—except one—raised their hands.
"Mr. Jones,” asked the minster, “are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”
"I don't have any.”
Mr. Jones, that is very unusual. I know you are 86-years-old. Would you please come down to the front and explain to all of us how you have lived so long without making a single enemy in the world?”
Mr. Jones teetered to the front and briefly explained, “Its easy. Ive outlived every one of them.

I think I’ve become a ‘sicko’. You know, those people that do things in excess, religiously and fanatically to boot. I have been to my doctor twice since November and in that time I have lost 17 pounds of hard earned fat. A lot of pepperoni pizza went into developing that physique, along with enough donuts to feed an entire police force in NYC.

So I got to thinking: if I lost that much in 6 months going only 3 times a week, what will 5 times a week do for me? Makes some sense to try it out for a period of three months when I go back to Dr. Strangeglove and his crankiness.

One of the things I miss most is donuts. Every night I wish I had a donut, the powdered sugar kind that leaves a residue around your mouth and on your fingers. Donuts, if you didn’t know: is a universal favorite of all mankind, not just the police. As a student of art history, I’ve seen enough still lifes, and in fact have painted a few in my day, and they are always flowers or fruit. Not once has anyone painted a still life of donuts. Why? I’m glad you asked, because no one wants to eat fruit or flowers, but donuts, then you have everyone’s attention.

Sometimes painters, when they are painting will take a break, go to the toilet or get a snack, or even stop to listen to their wives. If he leave a still life of flowers or fruit, chances are when he returns to his easel the still life is still in tack. But if he was painting a still life of donuts, you bet your donut hole it is either disturbed or gone.