GOT A PEN?

Two of many!

A couple of weeks ago while in Burbank, California, I happened to be by the front door when a knock was heard. I opened the door to be greeted by a guy in brown shorts and a package, which he shoved into my face and then handed me a tablet for me to sign off on. Handing me his pen he watched as I signed and before the last stroke of my signature, he was reaching for his pen back. I found his behavior both disconcerting and disappointing. What did he think I was, a common thief? Yet, I was disappointed because I lost a chance for another pen in my storied collection of stolen pens.

Don’t get me wrong, I just don’t go out and steal pens, like off someone’s table or desk, or on a counter-top in a store, no, these pens I acquire are from such cases as delivery guys, doctor’s offices and places where they seem to leave them out. Banks and credit unions with their stupid chains don’t make for conquest since the pens never work, to begin with.

My conscience is clear when I steal a pen as it is a moment in life that is the bad side of me, something I look at from afar, that is the only thing I do wrong as far as I’m concerned. I’m so honest that at 2:00 AM, with no one around I will make a full stop at a stop sign, it is in my nature. I always have Mom’s face in my way, even at 74-years of age.

I guess we all have a little bit of rebellion in us, some kind of bad boy image we don’t really project, but gives us relief from always doing the right thing.

A couple of weeks ago I went to STAT to fight a lingering cold. As I stood at the window to pay, the young lady gave4 me the cost and I noticed a container of pens with logo’s on them. I asked the young lady to look the other way. She asked why and I told h4er so I could take a pen. She laughed and said they are free. I told her if they were then it would take the fun out of my life, so please look the other way. She did and I was able to successfully steal a pen!

When I finally leave this Earth to steal pens in probably Hell, my wife and kids will be in a quandary as what to do with this big collection of ill-gotten pens. I’m hoping they will look to the Smithsonian for help. They have stuff by Dillinger, Bonnie and Clyde and of course, Al Capone, so why not one more authentic collection from DelBloggolo? They may turn down the family's request because the collection is too large, so, then my wife might decide to throw them in the pit along with me.