I have started to live my life as a bachelor as TLW (The Little Woman) has flown to Burbank, California to spend Christmas with my grandchildren. I stayed behind because I had a bad reaction to the last visit and didn’t want to get sick again from the flight there so I stay home.
Coming down the first morning I feel the real emptiness of
being alone or missing my wife. As I enter my den I usually expect to see TLW
sitting in her chair on her I-pad sipping her coffee. Instead, I find an empty
chair and loneliness waiting for me in the empty room. The loneliness seems to
echo throughout the house.
I can imagine what Christmas Day will feel like, but at
least I won’t be alone, I’ll have my #2 Son, Mike, with me and I look forward
to that. I will visit my daughter Ellen at the Multi-care Center and try to
feed her then home to some dinner for Mike and me.
One thing has changed in the life that I loved, that was the
annual Holiday dance at the agency, and since I retired last year I no longer
play Santa. The happy participants would lineup to sit with Santa and give me
notes about how they wanted mom or dad to get better, or for some special
present this year, or to even pose with their boyfriend or girlfriend and
Santa. After over 20 years there must be a couple of thousand photos of me as
Santa, sweating in that suit, being pounded by the happy people to see me.
Going to bed at night has become a chore, as now I stretch
out in the center of the bed, room to roam and roll, unhindered by a sleeping
mate who is desperately holding onto her territory along with blankets! This
morning I woke up and slept so soundly that the bed coverings were hardly
disturbed as all I had to do was adjust my side of the bed! I still miss her.
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