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| On a good day |
After a few weeks of not seeing my daughter, I sense she looks better but her spirit may be broken. If you ever saw a documentary about concentration victims during World War II, you see the same look in my daughter’s eyes. A blank, dull stare that says I know you are there but so what? What is it we are living for?
Her day seems to be filled with nothing, nothing she can do,
nothing she wants, and nothing.
As I sit beside her bed she is on her back, sleeping with
her mouth open and her arms stretched apart at both ends of the bed. She looks
like a Christ-like figure has been rescued from her cross, the agony stretched
across her face. The room is dark, the day is dreary and the mood is set for me
to witness every day her suffering.
The staff goes about their business in an efficient way,
matter-of-factly as they attend to her needs. I wonder if God is finished with
this whole trial or does she still have more to pay for. Will Mom and Dad need
to agonize more, sleep less and give up even all hope? We go about the day
knowing that things are not right and may never be again. All the season is
lacking the joys of the past and so we will suffer alone, within ourselves on a
lonely Christmas day, void of laughter and good spirit.
On Christmas Day I will try to give my daughter meaning, I
will honor her for who she is, my beautiful daughter, one who loves without
prerequisites and I will pray for her in my own way.
Happy Holidays!
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